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New Red Flannel Event for 2011

By Lois Allen

Be sure to wear your reddest of red this Red Flannel Day in preparation for the newest event coming in 2011. You might want to pick up your running shoes and start training for it today. Whether you’re a sprinter or long distance on the track, you can prove your speed and dedication by participating in the 2011 Red Flannel Running of the Bulls.

Run for your lives residents of Cedar Springs!

The running of the bulls has been a long-standing tradition in Spain where bulls are encouraged to chase people. And people are encouraged to run from bulls.

“The festival is always looking for something new and exciting. Since we’re all wearing red anyway, we’d thought it’d be an appropriate new tradition,” said a rogue festival committee member.

Where will all those bulls come from we asked. “One thing Cedar Springs is got is plenty of bull(s),” he joked. “Don’t quote me on that.”

The event will be scheduled for approximately 30 minutes after the conclusion of the traditional Red Flannel Day Parade. This will give parade viewers ample time to clear the streets prior to the run. And will also give time for shop owners to board up their buildings and remove any signs or displays from the front of their establishments. Vendors are on their own and might want to start packing early. The City of Cedar Springs takes no responsibility.

There will be seats for sale on rooftops along the parade route for a premium. Reserve these quickly as they will sell out fast, according to organizers. “Businesses can benefit by earning some extra income,” said our unnamed, unknown source.

Farmers with bulls need not register. Just bring your bull(s) down to the parking lot at Big Boy’s by 2:30 p.m. on Red Flannel Day. Every farmer that brings in one bull (or more) will get a Big Boy gift certificate for one Brawny Lad (fries not included.)

Participants in the Red Flannel Running of the Bulls are required to sign a waiver and will be provided a mandatory life insurance policy available on site at a reasonable fee. “I’m gonna sign up my husband!” said Mary Ford, Cedar Springs resident.

PETA has been called and will be in attendance to ensure no bull is harmed.

For more info, or to sign up for the 2011 Red Flannel Running of The Bulls, call (616) APRIL FOOL!

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