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Categorized | Joke of the Week

New Year’s jokes

Q: Why do you need a jeweler on New Year’s Eve?

A: To ring in the New Year.

My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolutions.

Q: What did the little champagne bottle call his father?

A: Pop!

Q: What’s a cow’s favorite holiday?

A: Moo Year’s Eve.

Q: Where can you find comedians on New Year’s Eve?

A: Waiting for the punch line.

Q: What do farmers give their wives at midnight on New Year’s Eve?

A: Hogs and kisses.

Q: Where can you go to practice math on New Year’s Eve?

A: Times Square.

Q: Why should you put your new calendar in the freezer?

A: To start off the New Year in a cool way.

Q: What do you tell someone you didn’t see on New Year’s Eve?

A: I haven’t seen you for a year.

Q: What happened to the man who shoplifted a calendar on New Year’s Eve?

A: He got 12 months!

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