What did the Buddhist ask the hot dog vendor?

“Make me one with everything.”

Why aren’t koalas actual bears?

They don’t meet the koalafications.

What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?

Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there is a dog.

What does a pepper do when it’s angry?

It gets jalapeño face!

How did the hipster burn his mouth?

He ate the pizza before it was cool.

I waited and stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was.

Then it dawned on me.