It’s hard to find a good seafood place in Cedar Springs. (That’s because there aren’t any.) But entrepreneur John Wood’s new seafood bar and grill offers something a little more to its seafood—a secret ingredient that gives it a little extra kick and leaves customers coming back for more.

What is it? Wood calls it THC—for Totally Hidden Component.

According to Wood, who has a BS degree, he has perfected the art of genetic engineering between plants and sea life. He said he extracts his mysterious ingredient from a secret plant with three leaves, and injects it into the DNA of such sea life as squid, lobster, crab, and various types of fish.

Names of some of the customers’ favorite dishes are Marimari (pronounced Mair-uh-mar-ee), crabbanis cakes, Red Bud Snapper, and lobster hash.

Wood said that anyone that comes into the restaurant always leaves with a smile on their face. “It must be my superior customer service,” he said.

Many of the customers ask for an extra dish to bring home. “We have the best chefs in the country,” he noted. “They always taste the dishes before they serve them, to make sure it meets our high standard of quality.”

If you’d like to try out the new restaurant, we suggest you make a reservation. It’s often full, because people talk and laugh for hours on end. They never want to leave. But staff will move them into the smoking room, however, if you have a reservation.

For more information, call 1-800-APRIL FOOLS.