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Tag Archive | "prepared"

Main Street

Roger on Main StreetDown with government?
No taxes, no government. This notion has taken hold in some circles. In my opinion, the idea has a few flaws.
If nobody in town had to pay taxes we’d have to do without water, sewer and roads. Not paying taxes would leave your budget with more money for steak and designer jeans, but, whoa – the street is off-limits for you, buddy, unless you pay a hefty toll fee to the private owner. If your house catches fire, better have your credit card handy because there would be a service call charge, an hourly charge for each fireman, mileage fees, water charges, and hose usage. That’s plan A. Your fire is out. But if you want the firemen to save people or pets from the building, you have to buy plan B from the owner of the fire department. (No taxes, though.)
Check the city budget. Try online for a summary of where the money goes. It’s clear to me that we need government. It’s the most cost-efficient way to get the things we need. Why government and not private providers? Because government doesn’t have to make a profit.
Taxes save us money. You read it here.
Be prepared
Two elderly women met for the first time since graduating from high school.  One said, “You were always so organized in school. Did you manage to live that way all your life?”
“Yes,” said her friend. “My first marriage was to a millionaire; my second marriage was to an actor; my third was to a preacher; and now I’m married to an undertaker.”
“I don’t get it,” said the other. “What do those marriages have to do with a well-planned life?”
“One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go!”
Mom joke, No. 1
My mother and I were walking down the street when a man with a clipboard stopped us. “I’m taking a survey,” he said. “Do you think there is too much sex in movies?”
“I’m not sure,” replied my mother. “I’m usually too wrapped up in the film to notice what the rest of the audience is doing.”
Mom joke, No. 2
A young man finds his dream girl and asks her to marry him. He tells his mother he wants her to meet his fiancée. Wanting to make a bit of a game out of it, he says he’ll bring the girl over with two others and see if his mother can guess which is his choice. His mother agrees to the game.
That night, he shows up with three beautiful young ladies. They all sit down on the couch, and everyone has a wonderful evening talking and getting to know each other.
After the three have departed, the young man says, “Okay, Mom, which one was the girl I want to marry?”
Without any hesitation, his mother replies, “The one in the middle.”
The young man is astounded. “How in the world did you figure it out?”
“Easy,” she says. “I don’t like her.”

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