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Archive | Arts & Entertainment

The missing car

 

After spending a couple of hours in the store, a woman couldn’t find her car keys. They weren’t in her purse or pocket. She panicked as she realized she must’ve left them in the car. Frantically she headed for the parking lot. Her husband had scolded her many times about leaving the keys in the ignition. “It will get stolen!” he would yell. She raced toward the spot she usually parked, and her heart dropped. Her husband was right. That side of the parking lot was empty, and her car was nowhere to be seen.

Tears welled in her eyes. “How could I have been so stupid?” she thought.

The woman walked back to the entrance of the store and called the police.

“We will put out an APB on your car,” said the nice policeman on the other end of the phone. We’ll let you know if we find it.”

The woman realized she was going to have to call her husband, but dreaded it. So she went back inside the store to the little coffee shop. She sat and drank a cup of coffee while trying to find the courage to call him.

After about a half hour, she pulled out her phone, and with a heavy heart she dialed his number. “Hello!” said a gruff voice on the other end.

The woman swallowed hard then broke the news as fast as she could. “Dear, I know you’ve told me a million times not to leave the keys in the car and I didn’t mean to but I did and now the car’s been stolen and I called the police and they are looking for it.”

There was a moment of silence on the other end. The woman could feel her heart pounding in her ears.

“Are you kidding me?” barked her husband. “I dropped you off!”

The woman felt like an idiot. She had totally forgotten. “Oh…that’s right,” she stammered. Embarrassed she asked, “Well, would you come and get me now?”

“I will!” he retorted. “Just as soon as I convince this cop I didn’t steal your darn car!”

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Hometown Happenings

Hometown Happenings articles are a community service for non-profit agencies only. Due to popular demand for placement in this section, we can no longer run all articles. Deadline for articles is Monday at 5 p.m. This is not guaranteed space. Articles will run as space allows. Guaranteed placement is $10, certain restrictions may apply. You now can email your Hometown Happenings to happenings@cedarspringspost.com please include name and phone number for any questions we may have.


TOPS weight loss support group

Jan. 31: Take off pounds sensibly (TOPS), a non-profit weight loss support group for men and women, meets every Tuesday at the Resurrection Lutheran Church in Sand Lake. Your first visit is free so come check out what TOPS can do to help you reach your weigh loss goals! Weigh-ins 8:15-9am, meeting starts at 9:15am. In case of inclement weather, meetings are cancelled if Tri-County or Cedar Springs schools are closed. Call Barb at 696-8049 for more information. #4

Cedar Springs Community Players Auditions

Feb. 13,14: Auditions announced for upcoming CSCP production “Zombies, Werewolves and Aliens – Oh my!” It’s not Halloween, but the Cedar Springs Community Players are looking for actors who are ready to put their best monster foot forward and audition for their upcoming Sci-Fi/Fantasy one-act comedies. Needed are actors aged 15-60+ to portray zombies, cowboys, werewolves and aliens, along with some southern-fried, red-neck country folk. Auditions will be held at the Cedar Springs United Methodist Church on Monday, February 13th and Tuesday, February 14th  from 6:30 to 8 pm each night. Production dates are March 24-26 at the Kent Theatre. Please check out our website cedarspringscommunityplayers.org for all the information! #4,5p

Audition Notice – Flat River Community Players

Feb. 20, 21: The Flat River Community Players will hold auditions for the comedy “Sex Please, We’re 60” at 7:00 pm on Monday and Tuesday, February 20 and 21, at St. Paul Episcopal Church in Greenville. Director Deb Dieckman is looking to cast 4 women and 2 men, all of mature ages (not necessarily in their 60’s) for the cast. Five performances are scheduled for April 21-23 and 28 &29. The first rehearsal, read-through, is planned for Friday February 24th. Interested auditioners with questions should contact Deb at dadieckman@gmail.com #4

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The Post travels to St. Jude Children’s Hospital

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The Post recently traveled with Jim, Kelsey, Tyler, Chris and Trevor Ruark to St. Jude Children’s research hospital, in Memphis Tennessee. Kelsey (who is holding the Post newspaper in the photo) is a patient there. “We traveled there for her 10-year (last) check up,” explained Kelsey’s mom, Chris. “She was diagnosed with leukemia AML in 2006 and received a bone marrow transplant on Dec. 1, 2006, from her younger brother Tyler. Kelsey has gone back for yearly visits for 10 years. We were celebrating 10 years cancer free!”

Thanks so much for letting us celebrate with you! We are happy that Kelsey is cancer-free!

Are you going on vacation? Take the Post with you and snap some photos. Then send them to us with some info to news@cedarspringspost.com or mail them to Post travels, PO Box 370, Cedar Springs, MI 49319. We will be looking for yours!

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Sobriety test

 

A Michigan State trooper pulled a car over about 2 miles north of the Michigan/Indiana State line. When the trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was a Magician and Juggler and was on his way to Ft. Wayne, IN to do a show at the Circus. He didn’t want to be late.

The trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling and said if the driver would do a little juggling for him then he wouldn’t give him a ticket. He told the trooper he had sent his equipment ahead and didn’t have anything to juggle. The trooper said he had some flares in the trunk and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler said he could, so the trooper got 5 flares, lit them and handed them to him.

While the man was juggling, a car pulled in behind the patrol car. A drunk got out, watched the performance, then staggered over to the patrol car, opened the rear door and got in. The trooper saw him and went over and asked the drunk what he thought he was doing.

The man laughed and said, “You might as well take my butt to jail, cause there ain’t no way I can pass that test!”

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Hometown Happenings

Hometown Happenings articles are a community service for non-profit agencies only. Due to popular demand for placement in this section, we can no longer run all articles. Deadline for articles is Monday at 5 p.m. This is not guaranteed space. Articles will run as space allows. Guaranteed placement is $10, certain restrictions may apply. You now can email your Hometown Happenings to happenings@cedarspringspost.com please include name and phone number for any questions we may have.


Praise the Lord at Cowboy Church

Jan. 22: 2nd Chance will be having Cowboy Church on Sunday, January 22nd at 6 pm. It will be at 2nd Chance School at 810 – 17 Mile Rd. Cedar Springs (corner of 17 Mile and Olin Lakes Rd). The message and music will be shared by the Gitchel family with Joann Gitchel sharing a message. Invite your family and friends. Cowboy Church will be every 2nd and 4th Sunday of the month. Each service will have different people sharing God’s word and music. Cowboy Church will introduce you to 2nd Chance and its vision. The school is in the building stage, which when completed, will teach troubled teens through God and the horse. If you have questions, call 616-293-2150. See you there! #3

Comedy improv at the Kent Theatre in January

Jan. 25: The Cedar Springs Community Players is pleased to announce its first annual comedy “Improv Night at the Kent” debuting on Wednesday, January 25th. Doors will open at 6:30 and the show begins at 7 pm. Local talent will take to the stage to entertain their audience for 90 minutes. Cost is only $5 at the door. It’s not The Second City, but in the same fashion, it should be an evening of grins and giggles as performers quickly create characters and dialog in the spur of a moment! #2,3p

KD aLe: Cedar Springs Brewery Tour

Jan. 25: Taste their traditional German style beer while touring the facility. Enjoy a discounted tasting flight following the tour of the brewery. Wednesday, January 25th  at 6:30 p.m., Cedar Spring Brewing Company, 95 N. Main, Cedar Springs. Please visit www.kdl.org for more information. #3

Take a “Winter Owl Walk” at MCC

Jan. 28: Montcalm Community College’s Nature Trails Committee offers a Winter Owl Walk on January 28th from 5:30 to 7:30 pm. Participants will learn about owl habitat and behavior from Instructor Cheryl Meyer, then walk on the Kenneth J. Lehman Nature Trails looking and listening for owls. Please dress appropriately for the weather, including boots or snowshoes. The group will meet in room A138 in the Stanley P. Ash Building on the college’s Sidney campus. Admission is free. #3

Actors del Arte Ensemble Auditions

Jan. 31: Actors del Arte Ensemble (Rockford) are taking auditions for “The Waif” (story of Little Orphan Annie) on Tuesday, January 31st and Thursday, February 2nd fro 6 – 8 pm at Rockford Reformed Church, 11 Mile Rd., Rockford. Looking for men, women, teens, children (all ages). Call 616-874-5264 for details. #3

Velzy Park’s Valentine Dinner

Feb. 11: Velzy Park’s 2nd Annual Valentine Dinner is planned for February 11th  at the Solon Township Hall, 15185 Algoma Avenue, Cedar Springs. This year’s event includes a spaghetti dinner, dessert auction, and 50/50 raffle. Pianist Courtney King will entertain and accept song requests. Tickets are $10 per person, or two for $18 and can be purchased from any committee member or at the Solon Township Hall. Call 616-696-1718 with any questions. Thank you for your support! #3

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Improv comedy performance at the Kent

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By Terri Riggle

The Cedar Springs Community Players is pleased to announce its first annual comedy “Improv Night” debuting at the Kent Theatre on Wednesday, Jan. 25. Doors will open at 6:30 and the show begins at 7 p.m. Local talent will take to the stage to entertain their audience for 90 minutes. Cost is only $5 at the door. It’s not The Second City, but in the same fashion, it should be an evening of grins and giggles as performers quickly create characters and dialog in the spur of a moment!

Improvisational theater (now shortened to just Improv) is a form of live theater in which the plot, characters and dialogue of a game, scene or story are made up in the moment. The most direct ancestor of modern improv is probably the Commedia Dell’Arte, which was popular throughout Europe starting in the mid-1500. Troupes of performers would travel from village to village, presenting shows in the public squares and on makeshift stages. They would improvise the dialog, within a framework provided by a set called a “scenario.”

During the 1920’s and 30’s, a woman named Viola Spolin developed a new approach to teach acting. It was based on a simple yet powerful idea that children would enjoy learning the craft if it were presented as a series of games.

Spolin’s son, Paul Sills, built on his mother’s work and was one of the driving forces of improvisational theatre centered at the University of Chicago in the mid-1950. Along with people like Del Close and David Shepherd, Sills created an ensemble of actors who developed a kind of modern “Commedia” which would appeal to the average man in the street. The goal was to create theatre that was accessible to everyone.

The group that sprang from the work of Sills, Shepherd and Close, called The Compass, was extremely successful. It brought people to the theatre who, in many cases, had never gone before. Eventually, it led to the development of a company called The Second City in Chicago, which opened its doors in December of 1959 and has since grown to become the world’s premier comedy club, theatre, and school of improvisation. The main focus of the theater was to provide a place where scenes and story were created improvisationally, using the same innovative techniques that Viola Spolin had developed and taught.

The Second City has been a launching pad for comedians, actors, directors and others working in show business. Notable alumni include Alan Arkin, Dan Aykroyd, James Belushi, John Belushi, John Candy, Steve Carell, Stephen Colbert, Chris Farley, Tina Fey, Bonnie Hunt, Richard Kind, Bill Murray, Mike Myers, Gilda Radner, Harold Ramis, Joan Rivers, Amy Sedaris, Martin Short, George Wendt and Fred Willard, among many others.

The Players hope to form a permanent Improv troupe which would be able to perform in area locales all throughout the year.  They encourage any persons interested in being a part of the troupe to attend the performance and leave your name at the box office or leave a comment on their website cedarspringscommunityplayers.org.

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Parachute training

 

I volunteered recently to perform a parachute jump for charity. On our first day of training, the instructor made an important point about preparing for landing at 300 feet.

“How do you know when you’re at 300 feet?” asked one woman.

“A good question,” replied the instructor. “At 300 feet you can recognize the faces of people on the ground.”

The woman thought about this for a minute and said, “What happens if there’s no one there I know?”

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Hometown Happenings

Hometown Happenings articles are a community service for non-profit agencies only. Due to popular demand for placement in this section, we can no longer run all articles. Deadline for articles is Monday at 5 p.m. This is not guaranteed space. Articles will run as space allows. Guaranteed placement is $10, certain restrictions may apply. You now can email your Hometown Happenings to happenings@cedarspringspost.com please include name and phone number for any questions we may have.


Benefit Fundraiser for Rowdy

Jan. 14: A Hotdog/Chili benefit luncheon will be held on Saturday, December 14th from 11 am to 3 pm at the Sand Lake United Methodist Church. Free will offering. Proceeds will be used towards medical expenses for Pastor Darryl’s leader dog Rowdy. Sponsored by Sand Lake, South Ensley UM Churches and Sand Lake Lions Club. #2p

Blood Drive

January 17: Michigan Blood Drive on January 17th at the Cedar Springs United Methodist Church from 12:30 pm until 7:00 pm. What better New Year Resolution than to give the gift of life. That would just cost you about one hour of your time every other month. Your donation has the potential to improve/save three people’s lives. The Blood Center thanks all the people that donate at the Cedar Springs blood drive. #2

Lions Club Pancake Breakfast

Jan. 21: The Cedar Springs Lions Club will host an All You Can Eat Pancake Breakfast on Saturday, January 21st from 7 am to 11 am at the United Methodist Church, 140 S. Main St., Cedar Springs. $8 per person, family of 4 is $25. #2

Cabin Fever Cupcakes

Jan. 24: Fight Cabin Fever with cupcakes! Teens are encouraged to think “summer” and sport their beachiest resort wear while decorating summery cupcakes. Judges will give awards for the best summer-themed cupcake and for cupcake decorating skills. (No bikinis, must wear shoes, and be sure to top your outfit off with a coat and boots to make your way over!) Pre-registration is required 616-784-2007. Tuesday, January 24th at 6:30 pm at the Spencer Township KDL Branch, 14960 Meddler Ave., Gowen. Please visit www.kdl.org for more information. #2

Comedy improv at the Kent Theatre

Jan. 25: The Cedar Springs Community Players is pleased to announce its first annual comedy “Improv Night at the Kent” debuting on Wednesday, January 25th. Doors will open at 6:30 and the show begins at 7 pm. Local talent will take to the stage to entertain their audience for 90 minutes. Cost is only $5 at the door. It’s not The Second City, but in the same fashion, it should be an evening of grins and giggles as performers quickly create characters and dialog in the spur of a moment! #2,3p

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Kent District Library Homebrew Competition: Book-Inspired Brewing

ent-kdl-homebrew

Kent District Library is proud to present the second annual “Book-Inspired Brewing” home brew contest as part of the KDaLe series. In collaboration with Gravel Bottom Brewing and Railtown Brewing, KDL is calling on home brewers to enter this unique competition: creating a beer inspired by their favorite title or author.  The winning beer will be brewed in a professional brewery, Gravel Bottom Brewing, and will be released at the KDaLe Wrap-Up Party scheduled for April 15. The winner’s name will be engraved on the KDaLe homebrew trophy and the top three finalists will receive a home brewer’s prize basket.

The deadline to sign up is January 7, 2017; 50 submissions will be accepted. Entrants must deliver three 12-ounce bottles of their brew to Gravel Bottom Brewing by February 15, 2017. They must also include the recipe and a brief statement about how the beer fits the theme of “Book-Inspired Brewing.” In addition to being judged on flavor, aroma, mouth-feel and appearance, your beer will be rated based on how well it fits the theme and the story behind it.

Primary judging will be done with a panel of Gravel Bottom, Railtown and KDL staff, along with local home brewers and other industry professionals. Secondary judging will be done by professional brewers and local cicerones. Winners will be announced on February 24.

For more information or to register, please visit http://www.kdl.org/events/kdale.

Kent District Library is a public library system operating 18 branch libraries. KDL serves nearly 400,000 residents of 27 governmental units, comprising most of Kent County, Michigan. KDL is an IRS-designated 501(c)(3) nonprofit supported by millage dollars and private donations.

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Short Snow Jokes

 

What happened when the snowgirl fell out with the snowboy?

She gave him the cold shoulder!

What do snowmen wear on their heads?

Ice caps!

What’s an ig?

An Eskimo’s home without a loo!

What do snowmen eat for lunch?

Icebergers!

Where do snowmen go to dance?

Snowballs!

How do snowmen travel around ?

By icicle!

What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?

A snowball!

How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed?

You wake up wet!

What do you get if you cross a snowman and a shark?

Frost bite!

What do you call an Eskimo cow?

An Eskimoo!

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