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Archive | Arts & Entertainment

Airplane ride

 

A farmer and his wife went to the fair. The farmer was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost.

“$10 for 3 minutes,” replied the pilot.

“That’s too much,” said the farmer.

The pilot thought for a second and then said, “I’ll make you a deal. If you and your wife ride for 3 minutes without uttering a sound, the ride will be free. But if you make a sound, you’ll have to pay $10.”

The farmer and his wife agreed and went for a wild ride. After they landed, the pilot said to the farmer, “I want to congratulate you for not making a sound. You are a brave man.”

“Maybe so,” said the farmer, “But I gotta tell ya, I almost screamed when my wife fell out!”

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Hometown Happenings

Hometown Happenings articles are a community service for non-profit agencies only. Due to popular demand for placement in this section, we can no longer run all articles. Deadline for articles is Monday at 5 p.m. This is not guaranteed space. Articles will run as space allows. Guaranteed placement is $10, certain restrictions may apply. You now can email your Hometown Happenings to happenings@cedarspringspost.com please include name and phone number for any questions we may have.


Head Start for Kent County

Apply today! North Kent Head Start a high quality preschool program is taking applications. No cost to families. 3 year old – full day classes. Family support – transportation (in most areas). Nutritious meals and snacks. Child Health and Development screenings. Accommodations for children with disabilities. Families must meet eligibility guidelines. Complete an application on our website www.hs4kc.org or call 616-453-4145. #28,29b

Praise the Lord at Cowboy Church

July 23: 2nd Chance will be having Cowboy Church on Sunday, July 23rd at 6 pm. It will be at 2nd Chance School at 810 – 17 Mile Rd. Cedar Springs (corner of 17 Mile and Olin Lakes Rd). The vision of 2nd Chance will be shared by Ron Silverman. Invite your family and friends. Cowboy Church will be every 2nd and 4th Sunday of the month. Each service will have different people sharing God’s word and music. Cowboy Church will introduce you to 2nd Chance and its vision. The school is in the building stage, which when completed, will teach troubled teens through God and the horse. If you have questions, call 616-293-2150. See you there! #29b

Special Messianic Presentation 

July 23: Please join Andy Ferrier from the Midwest Messianic Center of Chicago this Sunday morning at 9:30 a.m. at Gowen Bible Church (16415 Meddler Ave., Sand Lake) for a presentation that will show you the latest on the movement in Israel to rebuild the Temple in Jerusalem.  In this presentation you will see pictures of the Temple that will make it “come alive” like never before, the Temple Mount today, hindrances to rebuilding the Temple, pictures of the Millennial Temple, a computer-generated tour of the Millennial Temple, the Eastern Gate and why it’s shut, the Heavenly Temple, and more. For more information, contact Leslie Wood at 989-287-0167. #29p

Special End Times Presentation

July 23: Please join Andy Ferrier from the Midwest Messianic Center of Chicago this Sunday evening at 6:00 p.m. at Gowen Bible Church (16415 Meddler Ave., Sand Lake) for a presentation entitled “Signs of the Times: Key indicators we are living in the End Times.” Andy has spent 3 years living in Israel, working as staff of a Christian college. His time in Israel will give you fresh insight into the exciting events taking place in that tiny but extremely important country, especially as we see prophecy fulfilled almost daily.  For more information, contact Leslie Wood at 989-287-0167. #29p

VBS at Cedar Springs UMC

July 24-27: Come and discover your Super strength with us at “Hero Central!” We’ll have lots of fun – including crafts, games, stories and much more. Cedar Springs United Methodist Church, 140 S. Main Street. July 24th to the 27th from 6 to 8 pm. Find registration forms on our website, www.cedarspringsumc.org, outside of the Sanctuary or in the church office. Contact Sally Johnson with any questions at 616-788-8225 or email: sallex58@gmail.com. #28,29b

VBS at Resurrection Lutheran Church

July 24-28: Vacation Bible School at Resurrection Lutheran Church, 180 Northland Drive, Sand Lake will be held July 24th – 28th from 6 to 8 pm. Ages 4 years old to sixth grade (entering). For registration information, please email churchresurrection@yahoo.com or call 616-636-5502. #27-29b

Senior Lunch at Pine Grove Community Church

July 26:  The Pine Grove Senior Grill is still hot n ready to serve Brats n Dogs to you and your steady. So fellas take your gal by the hand, add a few of your best friends; y’all pile in the ol’ Packard and come on over.  Get ‘em while they’re hot! For all those age 60 and over we’re throwing our annual “Grill Picnic” at Noon the 26th of July.  Our picnic ground grill can be found on the Northwest corner of M-82 and Beech Ave. #29

Science on Wheels!

July 27: Impression 5 will visit all the way from Lansing to bring KDL hands-on science exploration and dynamic, inquiry-based learning fun. Thursday, July 27th at 6:30 pm at Spencer Township KDL branch, 14960 Meddler Ave., Gowen. #29

Help Promote Literacy

Aug. 1,9,17,25: The need is urgent at this time! The Literacy Center of West Michigan has scheduled  information sessions for prospective volunteer tutors. These sessions last one hour. It allows persons interested in becoming volunteer tutors to find out more about the Literacy Center and its programs. At the end of the session there will be a chance to sign up for tutor training. Sessions are Tuesday, August 1st at 10 am, Wednesday, August 9th at 6 pm, Thursday, August 17th at 2 pm, and Friday, August 25th at 10 am. By training people to be tutors, the Center can offer one-on-one reading help to adults asking for assistance in reading or English as a Second Language (ESL). You do not need to speak another language to tutor ESL. The Literacy Center of West Michigan is located at 1120 Monroe Ave., NW, Suite 240, Grand Rapids. Please call 616-459-5151 (ext. 10) or email us at info@literacycenterwm.org to register. #29

Wild Wednesdays at HCNC

Aug. 2,9,16: Howard Christensen Nature Center, 16160 Red Pine Drive, Kent City, is offering Wild Wednesdays this summer for ages 5 – 15 from 10 am to 2 pm. August 2 “Arts/Crafts: Up cycling”, August 9th “Snakes Alive”, Aug. 16th “Birds of Prey”. $8 per non-member (per day). Please dress for the outdoors. HCNC requests pre-registration to all events online at www.HowardChristensen.org. Call 616-675-3158 for more information. #29

Register Now For Free Hunter Education

Aug. 8: To register for firearm Hunter Safety Classes  at the Red Flannel Rod & Gun Club, call Jim Pope at 231-834-5545 after 6 pm. Classes at the Club, 7463 18 Mile Rd. Cedar Springs, will be Tuesday, August 8th, from 6-9 pm,  Thursday, August 10th from 6-9pm,  Saturday, August 12th , from 8 am-4 pm. Class size limited to 50 students. #29,30b

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Sparta Town & Country Days

To download festival schedule, click the link below:

SpartaTownCountryDays.pdf

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Cedar Springs Museum summer car show

The Michigan State Police black and gold car designed for their 100th anniversary will be on hand at the museum’s summer car show.

The Cedar Springs Museum will hold its annual summer car show fundraiser on Saturday, July 29, from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m., in the parking lot between Morley Park and Skinner Field.

The car show helps the museum provide free family programs throughout the year.

Special guests this year include the Michigan State Police and their special black and gold cruiser, designed to celebrate their 100th anniversary of service. The car resembles the department’s iconic 1937 Ford Model 74 patrol car.

The Kent County Sheriff Department’s mobile command center will also be at the car show. The command center bus will be open and an operator available to answer questions. Here it is shown at a library part in 2015.

The Kent County Sheriff Department will also be on hand with their mobile command bus. The bus will be open for display and the operator will be available to answer your questions.

The FFA will sell donuts and serve as helpers; free coffee and a free hot dog lunch will also be served to those visiting the car show, thanks to two local businesses.

Trophies and prizes will be awarded at the car show, and dash plaques given to the first 100 cars. Pre Entry is $8.00 per car or $10.00 the day of the show.

Mail early entry and fee to:

P.O. Box 296

Cedar Springs Mi. 49319

Include your name, address, city, state, zip and phone number. A parent signature is required if the entrant is under 18.

For more information or if you would like to volunteer, call The Cedar Springs Museum at 616 696-3335 or email: cedarspringsmuseum@gmail.com.

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Annual neologism contest 

 

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words.

The winners are:

1. Coffee (N.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (V.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (V.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (Adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (Adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (V.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (N.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (N.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (N.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (N.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (N.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (N), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (N.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (N.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (N.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

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Hometown Happenings

Hometown Happenings articles are a community service for non-profit agencies only. Due to popular demand for placement in this section, we can no longer run all articles. Deadline for articles is Monday at 5 p.m. This is not guaranteed space. Articles will run as space allows. Guaranteed placement is $10, certain restrictions may apply. You now can email your Hometown Happenings to happenings@cedarspringspost.com please include name and phone number for any questions we may have.


Head Start for Kent County

Apply today! North Kent Head Start a high quality preschool program is taking applications. No cost to families. 3 year old – full day classes. Family support – transportation (in most areas). Nutritious meals and snacks. Child Health and Development screenings. Accommodations for children with disabilities. Families must meet eligibility guidelines. Complete an application on our website www.hs4kc.org or call 616-453-4145. #28,29b

Potluck Picnic, Movie and Sidewalk Sales

July 14,15 : Christmas in July Community Potluck Picnic and Movie in Morley Park: The fun starts Friday, July 14th at  6 pm in Morley Park. This year the Cedar Springs area Chamber of Commerce has decided to add a community potluck/picnic to the Christmas in July movie in Morley Park event. This is a free event where everyone is welcome. Bring the family down & a dish to pass and enjoy dinner and yard games in the park before the movie starts! This year’s Christmas in July movie will be “Arthur Christmas”. Saturday July 15th over 90 businesses & vendors will participate in Christmas in July Sidewalk Sales. #28b

Sing to the Lord

July 16: 2nd Chance will be having gospel hymn sing on Sunday, July 16th at 6 pm. It will be at 2nd Chance School at 810 – 17 Mile Rd. Cedar Springs (corner of 17 Mile and Olin Lakes Rd). Music will be provided by Deb and Larry Eadie and the message shared by Ron Parson. Invite your family and friends. The Sing to the Lord hymn sings will be every 1st and 3rd Sunday of the month. Sing to the Lord hymn sings will introduce you to 2nd Chance and its vision. The school is in the building stage, which when completed, will teach troubled teens through God and the horse. If you have questions, call 616-293-2150. See you there! #28b

Dinner at the Legion

July 17: American Legion, 80 S. Main St. Cedar Springs, is hosting a Baked Chicken dinner on Monday, July 17th , from 5 – 7 pm. Included will be mashed potatoes, stuffing, veggies, salad, roll, dessert and drink. The cost is $9 for adults, children (15 and younger) $4.00. Come and enjoy home cooking. Take out is available. 616-696-9160.  #28

VBS at Ensley Baptist Church

July 17-21: Ensley Baptist Church, 7077 E. 120th St., Sand Lake will be hosting Vacation Bible School, “Camp Kilimanjaro” an epic expedition through Proverbs, July 17 thru 21 from 9 am to 12 noon. Ages: pre-K thru 6th grade. #28

Alan Kazam – Magic Show

July 18: If it’s fun, laughter and unforgettable memories you’re looking for, then come watch Alan Kazam, a professional magician who has been delighting audiences with his unique brand of magic for over 20 years. Presented by the Cedar Springs Community Library on Tuesday, July 18th from 1 to 2 pm at Cedar Springs Middle School, corner Northland Drive and 16 Mile Rd. #28

Celebrate Recovery Tent Meeting

July 18: The weekly (Tuesday at 6:30 pm) meeting fo the nationally recognized program Celebrate Recovery will be a tent meeting outside on Tuesday, July 18th at Hillcrest Community Church, 5993 – 18 Mile Rd., Cedar Springs, MI 49319. Phone 616-696-9333 for more information. #28

Michigan Blood Drive

July 18: A Michigan Blood Drive will be held on July 18th at the Cedar Springs United Methodist Church from 12:30 pm until 7 pm. Members of the Cedar Springs Women’s Club will be grilling hot dogs for all those who attempt to donate. Chips and a drink will be included. Summer is a particularly slow number for donors but a high demand for blood. Each donation has the potential to save 3 Michigan lives. The Blood Center thanks all the people that donate at the Cedar Springs blood drive. #28

VBS at Cedar Springs UMC

July 24-27: Come and discover your Super strength with us at “Hero Central!” We’ll have lots of fun – including crafts, games, stories and much more. Cedar Springs United Methodist Church, 140 S. Main Street. July 24th to the 27th from 6 to 8 pm. Find registration forms on our website, www.cedarspringsumc.org, outside of the Sanctuary or in the church office. Contact Sally Johnson with any questions at 616-788-8225 or email: sallex58@gmail.com. #28,29b

VBS at Resurrection Lutheran Church

July 24-28: Vacation Bible School at Resurrection Lutheran Church, 180 Northland Drive, Sand Lake will be held July 24th – 28th from 6 to 8 pm. Ages 4 years old to sixth grade (entering). For registration information, please email churchresurrection@yahoo.com or call 616-636-5502. #27-29b

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American Pickers to film in Michigan

American Pickers is produced by Cineflix Productions for History. New episodes air Mondays at 9pm EST on History.

Mike Wolfe, Frank Fritz, and their team are excited to return to Michigan. They plan to film episodes of the hit series American Pickers throughout the region in August 2017.

American Pickers is a documentary series that explores the fascinating world of antique picking on the History channel. The hit show follows Mike and Frank, two of the most skilled pickers in the business, as they hunt for America’s most valuable antiques. They are always excited to find sizeable, unique collections and learn the interesting stories behind them.

As they hit the back roads from coast to coast, Mike and Frank are on a mission to recycle and rescue forgotten relics. Along the way, the Pickers want to meet characters with remarkable and exceptional items.

The pair hopes to give historically significant objects a new lease on life, while learning a thing or two about America’s past along the way.

Mike and Frank have seen a lot of rusty gold over the years and are always looking to discover something they’ve never seen before. They are ready to find extraordinary items and hear fascinating tales about them.

American Pickers is looking for leads and would love to explore your hidden treasure. If you or someone you know has a large, private collection or accumulation of antiques that the Pickers can spend the better part of the day looking through, send us your name, phone number, location and description of the collection with photos to:

americanpickers@cineflix.com or call 855-OLD-RUST. You can also contact us on facebook: @GotAPick.

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Where is the BC?

 

A rather old-fashioned lady was planning a vacation in the Upper Peninsula. She wrote a letter to the campground asking for a reservation. She wanted to make sure the campground was fully equipped but didn’t know quite how to ask about the toilet facilities. She just couldn’t bring herself to write the word “toilet” in her letter.

After much deliberation, she finally came up with the old fashioned term “Bathroom Commode,” but when she wrote that down, she still thought she was being too forward. So she rewrote the entire letter and referred to the “Bathroom Commode” simply as the “B.C.” Does the campground have its own “B.C.?” is what she actually wrote.

Well, the campground owner wasn’t old fashioned at all, and when he got the letter, he couldn’t figure out what the lady was talking about. That “B.C.” really stumped him.
After worrying about it for several days, the campground owner finally came to the conclusion that the lady must be asking about the location of the local Baptist Church.
So he sat down and wrote the following reply:

“Dear Madam,

I regret the delay in answering your letter, but I now take the pleasure in informing you that the BC is located nine miles north of the campground and is capable of seating 250 people at one time. I admit it is quite a distance away if you are in the habit of going regularly, but no doubt you will be pleased to know that a great number of people take their lunches along and make a day of it. They usually arrive early and stay late.

The last time my wife and I went was six years ago, and it was so crowded we had to stand up the whole time we were there. It may interest you to know that right now there is a supper planned to raise money to buy more seats. They are going to hold it in the basement of the BC.

I would like to say that it pains me very much not to be able to go more regularly, but it is surely no lack of desire on my part. As we grow older, it seems to be more of an effort, particularly in cold weather. If you decide to come down to our campground, perhaps I could go with you the first time, sit with you, and introduce you to all the folks. This is really a very friendly community.”

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Hometown Happenings

Hometown Happenings articles are a community service for non-profit agencies only. Due to popular demand for placement in this section, we can no longer run all articles. Deadline for articles is Monday at 5 p.m. This is not guaranteed space. Articles will run as space allows. Guaranteed placement is $10, certain restrictions may apply. You now can email your Hometown Happenings to happenings@cedarspringspost.com please include name and phone number for any questions we may have.


Family Movie Night “The Shack,” Free movie!

July 8: Based on the bestselling book, “The Shack”.” Free Admission, free popcorn, free lemonade and reasonable soft drinks. Showing at the Cedar Springs United Methodist Church, Fellowship Hall, Saturday July 8th at 7:00 pm. #26,27b

Southern Gospel Concert at East Neslon UMC

July 8: Internationally known touring group, Keepers of the Faith Quartet, will be at East Nelson United Methodist Church, 9024 – 18 Mile Rd., Cedar Springs on Saturday, July 8th at 6:30 pm. You don’t want to miss this amazing group of singers. Their message is certainly powerful and their music superb. Please come and invite your friends for an evening of inspiration! The concert is free; a love offering will be taken. For more information call 616-696-0661. #26,27p

Praise the Lord at Cowboy Church

July 9: 2nd Chance will be having Cowboy Church on Sunday, July 9th  at 6 pm. It will be at 2nd Chance School at 810 – 17 Mile Rd. Cedar Springs (corner of 17 Mile and Olin Lakes Rd). The message and music will be shared by Wayne Jarvie, who sings country gospel music. Invite your family and friends. Cowboy Church will be every 2nd and 4th Sunday of the month. Each service will have different people sharing God’s word and music. Cowboy Church will introduce you to 2nd Chance and its vision. The school is in the building stage, which when completed, will teach troubled teens through God and the horse. If you have questions, call 616-293-2150. See you there! #27

Wolverine SkyHawks Model Airplane

July 12: Come out to the Wolverine SkyHawks Model Airplane Landing Strip at 13540 West St., Cedar Springs on Wednesday, July 12th at 6 pm. Students have a chance to win a model airplane all ready to fly! Hotdogs & Chips available for $2 donation. Bring your own drink and lawn chair. Sit back and enjoy the show. High winds and/or rain date: July 19th at 6 pm. #27

Potluck Picnic, Movie and Sidewalk Sales

July 14,15 : Christmas in July Community Potluck Picnic and Movie in Morley Park: The fun starts Friday, July 14th at  6 pm in Morley Park. This year the Cedar Springs area Chamber of Commerce has decided to add a community potluck/picnic to the Christmas in July movie in Morley Park event. This is a free event where everyone is welcome. Bring the family down & a dish to pass and enjoy dinner and yard games in the park before the movie starts! This year’s Christmas in July movie will be “Arthur Christmas”. Saturday July 15th over 90 businesses & vendors will participate in Christmas in July Sidewalk Sales. #27

Mobile Food Pantry

July 15: The Mobile Food Pantry will be at Red Pine Bible Church, 17195 Red Pine Drive, Kent City, MI 49330 on Saturday, July 15th and August 12th at 10 am. Registration begins at 9:30 am. Through Feeding America West Michigan. Contact person: Jerry Miller 616-262-5769. #27

Summer Camps at HCNC

July 18,27, Aug. 7,17: It’s summer, and here at Howard Christensen Nature Center, that means our camps are underway! These are the exciting camps left before summer ends! Archery: July 18-20, Survival: July 27-28, Team Building: Aug. 7-11 & Aug. 21-25, Jr. Backpacking: Aug. 17-18. For more details please Contact us at 616-675-3158 or go to our website www.howardchristensen.org. #27

Teens Cook It! at KDL

July 20,31: Food enthusiast Mandy Thompson is back to lead you on a fun, food filled cooking adverture. Pre-registration required. Thursday, July 20th at 6 pm at Spencer Township KDL, 14960 Meddler Ave. Gowen and July 31st at 1:30 pm at Nelson Township/Sand Lake KDL, 88 Eighth St. 616-784-2007, www.kdl.org. #27

Fiber Jewelry Making at KDL

July 22: Participants will be introduced to the art of needle felting and use this process mixed with embroidery techniques to create a broach or another piece of jewelry to take home with you. For adults. All supplies are included. Pre-registration required. Saturday, July 22, 1:30 pm at Nelson Township/Sand Lake KDL, 88 Eighth St. 616-784-2007, www.kdl.org. #27

VBS at Resurrection Lutheran Church

July 24-28: Vacation Bible School at Resurrection Lutheran Church, 180 Northland Drive, Sand Lake will be held July 24th – 28th from 6 to 8 pm. Ages 4 years old to sixth grade (entering). For registration information, please email churchresurrection@yahoo.com or call 616-636-5502. #27-29b

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The detective goes camping

 

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep.

Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: “Watson, look up at the sky, and tell me what you see.”

Watson replied: “I see millions and millions of stars.”

Holmes said: “and what do you deduce from that?”

Watson replied: “Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.”

And Holmes said: “Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”

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