Catch and Release – A conservation motion that happens most often right before the local Fish and Game officer pulls over a boat that has caught over its limit.
Hook – (1) A curved piece of metal used to catch fish. (2) A clever advertisement to entice a fisherman to spend his life savings on a new rod and reel. (3) The punch administered by said fisherman’s wife after he spends their life savings (see also, Right Hook, Left Hook).
Line – Something you give your co-workers when they ask on Monday how your fishing went the past weekend.
Lure – An object that is semi-enticing to fish, but will drive an angler into such a frenzy that he will charge his credit card to the limit before exiting the tackle shop.
Reel – A weighted object that causes a rod to sink quickly when dropped overboard.
Rod – An attractively painted length of fiberglass that keeps an angler from ever getting too close to a fish.
School – A grouping in which fish are taught to avoid your $29.99 lures and hold out for spam instead.
Tackle – What your last catch did to you as you reeled him in, but just before he wrestled free and jumped back overboard.
Tackle Box – A box shaped alarmingly like your comprehensive first aid kit. Only a tackle box contains many sharp objects, so that when you reach in the wrong box blindly to get a Band Aid, you soon find that you need more than one.
Test – (1) The amount of strength a fishing line affords an angler when fighting fish in a specific weight range. (2) A measure of your creativity in blaming “that darn line” for once again losing the fish.