This lady surprised a burglar in her kitchen. He was all loaded down with the things he was going to steal. She had no weapon and was all alone. The only thing that she could think to do was quote scripture. So she holds up a hand and shouts: “ACTS 2:38!”
The burglar quakes in fear and then freezes to the point that she is able to get to the phone and call 911 for the cops. When the cops arrive, the burglar is still frozen in place. They are very much surprised that a woman alone with no weapon could do this. One of them asked the lady: “How did you do this?”
The woman replied, “I quoted scripture.”
The cop turned to the burglar: “What was it about the scripture that had such an effect on you?”
The burglar replied: “Scripture! What scripture? I thought she said she had an ax and two 38s.”

Trufant, known as “Stump Fence Capital, USA,” has many decorative stumps left in their yards from the years when they were used as fences, after loggers cut down the trees, and farmers pulled out the stumps to clear the land for farming. They changed the name of their annual festival from “Stump Fence Festival” to “Trufant Jubilee” several years ago.

Looking for something to do on Labor Day weekend? Check out the Trufant Jubilee, a fun-filled festival in the town of Trufant, about 15 miles northeast of Cedar Springs. They have a Queen Pageant, three parades, fireworks, a beer tent, Bingo tent, Danish Aebliskiver breakfast, Chicken B-B-Q, horseshoe and softball tournaments, Car and Bike show, pancake breakfast, Frog Jumping contest, midway and music. There is something for everyone! For more information, call (616) 984-2555.

Join us for the Fallfest Bluegrass Music Festival September 17 through 19, 2010 at the Kent County Youth Fairgrounds, Lowell MI.

We have two great headliners this year. They are Rick Prater and The Midnight Travelers and The Williams Family. Bluegrass doesn’t get any better than these two great bands. Be sure to bring lawnchairs/blankets for the concert under our all weathre canopy. It’s Bluegrass music, come rain or shine.

Friday night the Thunder Floor Cloggers, The Williams Family, Cedar Ridge and Jonas Ridge, will entertain you from 6:00-10:00 pm. Friday admission is just $10.00.

Saturday it’s great music from noon until 10:00 pm. Rick Prater and The Midnight Travelers perform at 4:00 pm and 8:35 pm. In addition, there will be The Thunder Floor Cloggers, Deadwood, Bobby Hutch and Grand Ole Country and Free Wheelin’. Saturday’s price is only $15.00 for the entire day’s events.

Sunday at 10:00 am enjoy the gospel sounds of The Williams Family along with our audition bands and a chance to win $100. Sunday admission is $5.00. Save money and come for the whole weekend for $20.00 advance ticket or $25.00 at the gate. For advance tickets, send your check payable to WMBMA and a SASE to Norma Noall, 12530 Heim, Lowell, MI 49331. Children 15 and under are admitted free with parent(s) admission. Campsites are available.

Fallfest 2010 is sponsored/produced by the West Michigan Bluegrass Music Association. For more information call WMBMA President Dave Simmonds at (616) 897-6220 or visit our website at www.wmbma.org.

The makers of Barbie now offer a more up-to-date collection of Barbies for us more “mature” Barbie Lovers. Be sure to look for…

1.)    Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames in six wild colors (Half-frames too!), neck chain and large-print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.
2.)    Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie’s bellybutton and watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead. (Comes with tiny hand-held fan and tissues.)
3.)    Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie’s “hormone” levels rise, see her whiskers grow. Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror.
4.)    Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie’s droopy triceps with these new, roomier-sleeved gowns. Also comes with two muu-muus, and tummy support under panties.
5.)    Divorced Barbie. Sells for $199.99. Comes with Ken’s house, Ken’s car and Ken’s boat.
6.)    No-more-wrinkles-Barbie. Erase those pesky crow’s feet and lip lines that have appeared with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle from Barbie’s very own line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.
7.)    Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a cheer-leader is really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root for Babs and Ken Jr. Comes with minivan in robin-egg blue or white and cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.
8.)    Mid-life Crisis Barbie. It’s time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change and Alonzo (her personal trainer) is just what the doctor ordered, along with Prozac.
9.)    Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have taken their toll on Barbie’s dainty arched feet. Sooth her sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules.
10.)     Post-Menopausal Barbie. This Barbie wets her pants when she sneezes, forgets where she puts things and cries… a lot. She is sick and tired of Ken sitting on the couch watching the tube, clicking through the channels. Comes with Depends and Kleenex.

Frame by Frame

Music lovers in the area will once again have a chance to experience some up and coming local bands in concert on Wednesday, August 18 at the Kent Theatre in Cedar Springs.

Grand Rapids band Frame by Frame (formerly My Car, Your Car) will be the headliner at the 7 p.m. show. This alternative/indie rock band has played here before, most recently in April, and is a fan favorite.

Rosemary III, an interesting younger band from Ada, will also be appearing. This indie/folk band recently played the Coast Guard Festival on Friday, August 6.

Opening the show will be Zebra Box, a group of local students from Cedar Springs High School.

Come on out and hear some good music Wednesday and show your support for area bands. Tickets are only $5. The doors open at 6:30 p.m.

A wounded soldier and his daughter attend the Army Wounded Warrior Program Symposium, where families bond over similar experiences and challenges.

(NAPS)—Children face significant challenges when a soldier returns from war with severe injuries. After the stress of parents’ deployment, the recovery process can last for years, deeply affecting children.

Sometimes they have to travel to the hospital where the parents recover, changing schools and leaving their friends behind. Sometimes they watch their parents learn to walk or talk all over again. Sometimes their parents are angry and anxious as they cope with the post-traumatic stress that often follows combat.

The U.S. Army recognizes the impact of these challenges and is taking proactive steps to help families.

Each year, the U.S. Army Wounded Warrior Program (AW2) hosts a symposium where wounded soldiers, veterans and their families gather to prioritize the top challenges facing the wounded warrior community. During the weeklong event, the children ages 6 to 17 attend Operation Purple®, an urban adventure camp hosted by the National Military Family Association.

“For the first time, I didn’t feel alone,” said 12-year-old Savannah Cramblett, whose mother sustained significant injuries while on active duty in Iraq. “My friends at school don’t understand what my family is going through, but the kids at Operation Purple® camp did. I enjoyed the horseback riding, trip to Sea World and even swimming. These are memories, I will never forget.”

“AW2 Advocates recognize that parents’ injuries affect children deeply,” said AW2 director, Col. Jim Rice. “They work closely with the families to connect the children with organizations that provide a wide variety of resources for military children, such as counseling, sports and recreation activities and tutoring. The AW2 Advocate also encourages family members to discuss their feelings about the injury and recovery—it’s important for families to heal together.”

In spite of all the challenges, many children develop a stronger appreciation for their parents’ military service and resilience in facing an often overwhelming situation.

At the camp, one child wrote on a poster, “I love my dad because he loves me, takes me to the pool and lost his foot for my freedom.”

Cramblett added, “My mom looks like an ordinary person, but she’s amazing. She fought for our country and she’s so strong in spite of her injury.”

For more about the Army’s efforts to support wounded warriors and their families, visit the Army Wounded Warrior Program (AW2) blog at http://AW2.army live.dodlive.mil/.

The final show in the summer concert series at Morley Park in Cedar Springs takes place Thursday, August 19, at 7 p.m. and will feature the Sea Cruisers. The series, put on by Cedar Springs Area Parks and Recreation and sponsored by local businesses, is held the third Thursday of June, July and August. These concerts are free to the public. Door prizes will be given away during the band breaks, and concessions will be available for purchase. So bring your chairs and enjoy some snacks and entertainment with your Cedar Springs area neighbors! The concert will be moved to the Cedar Springs Middle School in case of inclement weather.

Area residents have two fun-filled festivals to visit next week. Coming to the Kent County Fairgrounds in Lowell next week is the annual Kent County Youth Fair August 9-14, and the community of Stanton will be having their Stanton Old-Fashioned Days August 11 through 15.

The Kent County Youth Fair has been around since 1934, showcasing children’s fair projects and offering all types of family-friendly fun. Visit the fair to see the animals, ride carnival rides, see the pig races, a youth talent contest, some great bands, various contests, purchase some livestock and much more! See our schedule on page 6 or visit www.kcfg.org for more info.

Stanton Old-Fashioned Days starts Wednesday, August 11, with a talent show at 9 p.m. The festival promises all day yard sales, a petting zoo, inflatables, men’s softball and other sports tournaments, firemen waterball tournament, parades, a car show and much more. Check out their schedule on page 7 or visit them online at www.stantonofd.com.

If you’d like a chance to win $1,000, have some fun, and support a good cause at the same time, buy a $5 ticket from the Cedar Springs Rotary and let the chips fall where they may.

The Rotary Club will be hosting its first ever “Cow Plop” on Saturday, August 7, from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. This free family event will be held in the vacant lot next to White Creek Lumber on White Creek Avenue.

The event will focus around the excitement of where the live cow will drop its plop with the drawing at 2 p.m. Carefully marked and numbered squares will be created on the vacant lot prior to the cow arriving. Lottery tickets can be purchased prior to the day’s event for just $5.00 each with no limit to the number of tickets that can be purchased. The grand prize is $1,000. (If less than 400 tickets are sold, the drawing will revert to a 50/50.)

Other live events for the day include an MC from a local radio station, a wood carver, basketball shooting contests, live petting zoo, ice cream, and grilled hot dogs by the Boy Scouts.

Lottery tickets must be purchased prior to August 7 and can be found at all three local banks (Independent Bank, Choice One Bank, and Chase Bank), White Creek Lumber, Gebhardt Insurance, or any other local Rotarian. The event is free and open to all.

All of the proceeds will go to Rotary which in turn funds local scholarships and opportunities for our community’s youth and others in need.

We could have told you it was going to be hot and humid this week; we knew it without even looking at the calendar. Why? Because it is band camp week at Cedar Springs High School!

The Marching Red Hawks have braved the heat and humidity all week as they work hard on their upcoming fall show, “Celtic Celebration.” They will be performing the songs “Irish Celebration,” “Celtic Production,” “Loch Lomond,” and the “Galway Piper.” They will give a sneak preview of their show at 6:30 p.m. Friday, July 30, at Red Hawk Stadium.

There have been some changes in leadership this year for the band. Adam Borst is still director, but longtime director James Greene retired at the end of last year, and former director Robert Robuck will now only be directing the Jazz Band. To fill the void, they have hired a new assistant band director, Ryan Shaw. He comes to Cedar Springs from Berkley High School (near Detroit), and is a graduate of the University of Michigan.

The Red Hawks competed last year for the first time in the Michigan Competitive Band Association, and made it the state finals, where they took 9th out 10 places in Flight III. Upcoming competitions will be at Rockford Sept. 18; Red Flannel Day Oct. 2; the MCBA Competition here on Oct. 9; Jenison Oct. 23; Rockford Oct. 30; and the finals at Ford Field on Nov. 6 if they make the top 11 bands in Flight III. They will also perform during halftime of the home football games.