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Joke of the Week: Golf meditations

A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponents luck.

Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the beginning of the next group of three.

When you look up, causing an awful shot, you will always look down again at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the ball if you ever want to see it again.

Any change works for a maximum of three holes or at a minimum of not at all.

No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.

The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing.

Golfers who claim they don’t cheat also lie.

The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.

You can hit a two acre fairway 10 percent of the time and a two-inch branch 90 percent of the time.

Hazards attract, fairways repel.

A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.

If there is a ball in the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is in the bunker. If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.

Don’t buy a putter until you’ve had a chance to throw it.

 

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