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Our species

Although America has a massive war machine, there isn’t enough money for us to solve all the world’s problems. And even unlimited money couldn’t buy enough troops.

After ten-plus years in Afghanistan and Iraq, we have not bought the kind of peace or stability for those countries that we claimed we intended. In some ways they’re worse off (and WE are worse off) because of the destruction and side effects of those wars. In Afghanistan, the recent murderous conflict over the Koran-burning is sickening.

It is disturbing to hear some of the candidates for president talk about starting a war with Iran. One of them, however, Ron Paul, seemed to detect something amiss when he said, “I’m afraid what’s going on right now is similar to the war propaganda that went on against Iraq.” (The Pentagon and the CIA, by the way, do not see Iran as the kind of threat that justifies war.)

What’s wrong with our species that candidates figure going to war is a selling point for election?

Back to the jokes

A woman went to a Florida lemon grove to apply for a job, but the foreman thought she seemed far too qualified for the position. “Do you even have any actual experience picking lemons?” he asked.

“Well, I think I do,” she replied. “I’ve been divorced three times.”

Another joke

When Smith learned that he was being fired, he went to see the head of Human Resources. “Since I’ve been with the firm for so long,” he said, “I think I deserve at least a letter of recommendation.”

The Human Resources director agreed and said he’d have the letter ready the next day. The following morning, Smith found the letter on his desk. It read, “John Smith worked for our company for eleven years. When he left us, we were very satisfied.”

Love joke

A young man bought an expensive piece of jewelry as a present for his girlfriend. “Don’t you want her name engraved on it?” asked the clerk. The young man thought for a moment and then, ever the realist, replied, “No, just engrave it, To My One and Only Love. That way, when she gets mad and throws it at me, I can use it again.”

Marriage thoughts

Some men who speak with authority at work know enough to bow to a higher authority at home.

Marriage brings music to a man’s life. He learns to play second fiddle.

Good advice: Before criticizing your wife’s faults, remember that it may have been these very defects that kept her from getting a better husband than the one she married.

Last thought

Does the person who inventories sheep usually fall asleep on the job?



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