Out of Iraq

They say the long war is over in Iraq. It started with a sweep of military might, which left the enemy army in shambles. Then we took over the job of turning the country into a democracy and rebuilding the damage from the war. It’s all over now and we didn’t do such a good job of it. They are still killing each other for religious or political reasons and they don’t have enough electricity.

Now we are trying the same in Afghanistan. The Russians tried it and gave up. We could do it if we want to take another 10 or 20 years and all our money and troops. I think the results would be worse. And then we have Pakistan!

Blondes have more…

A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife, Susie, something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he bought her a cell phone. He showed her the phone and explained to her all of its features. Susie was excited to receive the gift and adored her new phone.

The next day, Susie went shopping. Her phone rang and, to her astonishment, it was her husband. “Hi Susie,” he said, “how do you like your new phone?”

Susie replied, “I just love it! It’s so small and your voice is clear as a bell, but there’s one thing I don’t understand.”

“What’s that, sweetie?” asked her husband.

“How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?”

Another blonde

There was a blonde that lived in a small house on the corner of 4th Avenue. She had a shed in her backyard where she kept gardening tools. One day, she saw smoke coming out of the roof of the shed.

In a panic, she called 911. They answered and said, “This is Joe, is there an emergency?”

The blonde replied, “Yes, my shed is on fire!!!”

Joe said, “Don’t panic, help is on the way… where do you live?”

The blonde said, “IN A HOUSE, NOW HURRY!!”

Joe calmly responded back, “How are we supposed to get there?”

The blonde answered back, “DUH!!! A BIG RED TRUCK!”

(Thanks, Michelle.)