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Roger on Main St.

9/11

The date stands by itself with December 7 and 1776. Now we have a dispute about a “Mosque” near the site. The President is right. He has no authority over NYC building permits. But we have a knee-jerk reaction to Muslims. There are billions of them with numberless sects. Probably as many as we have Christian sects in the U.S. Fortunately, Christians have ( fairly recently ) given up violence and murder in dealing with other viewpoints. A few Muslims are still nasty and busy killing more of their own than us.  We can get along with the good ones and maybe they will help to control the others.  A church (mosque) in an old coat factory in NYC is not a big deal.

Dressing up

A little girl walked into the bathroom while her mother was putting on make-up. “I’m going to look just like you mommy!” she excitedly announced.
“Maybe, when you grow up,” her mother told her.
“No Mommy, tomorrow. I just put on that ‘Oil of Old Lady’ you always use.”

Right on!

Three old men are at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor says to the first old man, “What is three times three?”
“274,” was his reply.
The doctor worriedly says to the second man, “It’s your turn. What is three times three?”
“Tuesday,” replies the second man.
The doctor sadly says to the third man, “Okay, your turn. What’s three times three?”
“Nine,” says the third man.
“That’s great!” exclaims the doctor. “How did you get that”?
“Jeez, Doc, it’s pretty simple,” says the third man. “I just subtracted 274 from Tuesday.”

It was a tough year…but I made it

The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you have to call them and ask if they mean you or them.
Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.
A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.
The Mafia is laying off judges.
BP Oil laid off 25 Congressmen.

And, finally…

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, and our bleak future, that I called the Suicide Lifeline and was connected to a call center in Pakistan. When I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

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