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Main Street

Main Street

Main St. by Roger AllenOptimism No. 1

A 16-year-old Australian teen-ager, Jessica Watson, just finished sailing around the world alone, the youngest ever to do so. The trip took seven months. Her sailboat was 34 feet long. And pink.

According to news reports last October when she started out, “She smiled and waved to scores of well-wishers on land and in boats that had gathered on the harbor.”

Now that she’s back, she says, “I don’t consider myself a hero. I’m an ordinary girl who believed in her dream.” Apparently Jessica never had any doubts about her success. That kind of optimism should carry her a long way.

Yay for Jessica. This story is an upper. But, as a parent myself, I wonder how Mr. and Mrs. Watson enjoyed themselves during those seven months.

Optimism No. 2

My thanks to Sally Thompson for this story:

My husband and I were taking groceries from the car when a little neighbor boy came over to talk and offered me some of the potato chips he was eating.

“No, thank you. I can’t eat them because I have no teeth,” I said. I opened my mouth to show him.

He took a look and said, “Oh, not having any teeth is okay. They grow right back in, see?” And he opened his mouth and proudly pointed to his newly sprouted front tooth.

Optimism put to the test

A news reporter heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time. She went to the Western Wall and there he was, walking slowly up to the holy site.

She watched him pray, and when he turned to leave she approached him for an interview.

“Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall every day to pray?”

“For about 60 years.”

“60 years! That’s amazing! What do you pray for?”

“I pray for peace between the Christians, the Jews and the Muslims,” he said. “I pray for all the wars and the hatred to stop. I pray for all our children to grow up safely as responsible adults, and to love their fellow man.”

“How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?” she asked.

“Like I’m talking to a brick wall!”


Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, UCLA.

Absolute nonsense

A dentist and a manicurist fought it out, tooth and nail.

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